Longing
by Tia.Vaughn
Summary: Gaara x OC lemon.


Standing in the middle of the desert, I inhaled deeply, the smell of dust mingling with the air as it blew around me. Living in the Village Hidden in the Sand was something I loved and hated at the same time. I wasn't a very open girl, in fact, I didn't talk to many people growing up and I didn't have any friends other then Temari and Kankuro. Remembering back to when I was little, a memory of a small boy with red hair and black eyes made my heart race. He was the reason I both hated it here and loved it here.

"Gaara…" I whispered to myself as I turned to face the town again. It was because of him that I had become a ninja, although I'm sure a lot of people in the village would say that. But my reasoning was different, although stupid. I became a ninja to protect him, even though he was capable of protecting himself, while everyone else became a ninja to protect themselves **from **him. Times had changed since he became the Kazekage, and he was respected more now, but it didn't change his past or what I had grown to feel for him. If I was being honest with myself, I had always loved Gaara more then anything. Since the first day I saw him all I wanted to do was give him a hug. Everyone was so mean to him, feared him, and belittled him. I had heard that even his father and uncle had tried to assassinate him. Sadness welled up inside me as I remembered that little boy with tears in his eyes, holding the ball out to my group of friends. I had smiled at him when everyone ran away, I had wanted to go up to him and accept his gift of returning our ball to us, but I was grabbed by my father, his hand wrapped in my black hair as he pulled me away. Everyone ran from him, insulted him, and then he cried out asking us not to run away. That he didn't want to be alone. The sand attacked us then, until his uncle had stopped him. Later that day he had come to our house with medicine for the wounds he had given me, but my father had closed the door on him and told him to go away, that he was a monster. I looked out my window as he left in sadness. That night we had heard that his uncle tried and failed to assassinate him after he killed a villager, and he had never been the same. The next time I saw him, he had a scar in the form of the word love on his forehead, and he never cried again or tried to make contact with anyone. I had wanted then to hug him even more.

"Hey, there you are." A voice pulled me from my memories as I looked up to see the blonde hair of Temari standing in front of me with a smile on her face. If I remembered right, she had just gotten back from the leaf village; she looked to be in a good mood. It must have been because of Shikamaru.

"You're looking for me?"

"I just got back; Kankuro said he's been looking for you and asked me to find you."

"I'm sorry, I was in the desert."

"What for?" Temari asked as she walked with me back into the city, a smile still on her face as she stared at the clouds.

"I like the smell…what were you looking for me for?"

"You just became a ninja right? The Kazekage wants to see you."

"G-Gaara does?" I stuttered as she nodded.

"You have to see the Kazekage once you become a ninja so you can get missions…you know that right?"

"Oh, yeah, of course I know that." I nodded as we arrived at the foot of the Kazekage's mansion, Temari opening the gate for me.

"Ah, it's so nice to be home." She smiled as I followed her into the mansion.

"Temari, you found her!" Kankuro sighed in relief as I looked at him, bowing slightly.

"Sorry Kankuro…I didn't know you were looking for me."

"It's fine, let's go see Gaara now." He said as Temari took off her shoes and went down a different hallway. Following Kankuro up the stairs I felt my heart rate increase with every step I took, the large door to the Kazekage's room looming over us as we stopped in front of it. "Go ahead." Kankuro said as he crossed his arms.

"You're not coming in with me?"

"Why would I?" He asked as I blushed, shaking my head.

"N-no reason, thanks Kankuro."

"Jeez, you're acting weird today." He said as I sighed and opened the door slowly, my breath catching in my throat as I made my way in and closed the door.

"Lord Kazekage?" I asked quietly as I looked around the room, not seeing Gaara anywhere. "Gaara?" I called out again as a door to my left opened, revealing the red-headed Gaara. His pale blue eyes stared down at me, standing brightly against the black markings surrounding his eyes. His usual frown was on his face as he crossed his arms in front of him, walking over to his desk. He looked at me blankly as I fidgeted.

"I'm positive I've told you not to call me that…" Gaara said in a dry tone, the usual emptiness in his voice making it raspy as he spoke.

"You have, I'm sorry Gaara."

"You've been training with Kankuro."

"Yes, he's taught me a lot. He said you wanted to see me?" I asked as I fidgeted in my spot again, trying to keep my eyes on his face, and not let them trail down his figure. He was watching me closely; I couldn't slip up like that.

"Yes. I have a mission for you…but first I have a question." His dry tone didn't waver as he pierced me with a stare, and I found myself biting my nails, a bad habit I picked up when I was nervous.

"Alright."

"You're eyes…" He started as I felt heat rush to my cheeks. "They're always filled with a longing…"

"A…longing…?" I repeated as he stared at me.

"I want to know what it is. It's a look that is so familiar…what is it that you are longing for?" I felt my body tense up as his question sank in. He was right, I was longing for something, but that something was him. I couldn't come outright and say that. I ran different scenarios through my head, trying to come up with another answer. He would know if I was lying, so I had to come up with something good.

"I…I guess I long for love…"

"Love?" He questioned as I avoided his eyes.

"That's how I'd explain it…"

"Love…you're eyes…they remind me of mine when I was little."

"Do I look that sad?" I asked softly, immediately regretting the words as I looked to see his reaction. Nothing passed over his face, although I wasn't sure why I expected anything too. Gaara rarely smiled, or laughed, or did anything other then a blank stare. He had proven that he had many positive feelings now, but it wasn't something that was expressed through his face or words.

"Yes." He finally answered as I looked up to meet his gaze. All I wanted to do was hug him as I stared into his eyes. "You're mission is to escort me to a meeting in the Sand Grotto with someone from another nation."

"W-what?" I stuttered as what he said sank in. "Escort you? If it's something that makes you think you need an escort, surely you can take someone stronger then me?"

"I had originally intended to take Kankuro. But he said I should take you. I do not care either way."

"I guess the sand will protect you…" I reassured myself. Why on earth would Kankuro recommend me? He was teaching me, but he couldn't think I was capable of this yet.

"You can go prepare. We leave in an hour." Gaara said as he sat down, his eyes still locked on me.

"Alright." I said as I turned to leave the room, slumping down on the other side of the door when I closed it. Letting out a huge sigh, I opened my eyes to see Kankuro leaning over me.

"So?" He asked with a sly smile as I reached out to slap him. He quickly evaded and stood up, his smile growing. "Oh come on, I thought you'd appreciate a good mission."

"Are you insane Kankuro?! Me, protect Gaara? I'll just get in his way…" I groaned as Kankuro pulled me to my feet, moving close so his mouth was near my ear.

"Temari and I have seen how you look at him. You should be thanking me." He laughed as he pulled away, a blush returning to my tanned face.

"You're a bastard." I sighed as I walked down the stairs to get my stuff. When I arrived at the gate to leave town, Gaara was already there with Kankuro and Temari beside him, and I felt the nervousness in my stomach loosen at the thought of them coming too. That idea was quickly crushed when I stood beside them and they waved a goodbye, quickly scampering off like the little rats they were. The awkward silence swirled around us as Gaara started walking, me following close behind him.

It had been half a day since we left, but I couldn't help but smile when we arrived in the biggest desert in the land of wind, the dust billowing around us as I inhaled my favourite scent. I almost forgot about the awkward silence between us that had lasted since we left when I stared up at the sky and breathed in the air. Letting my eyes drift from the sky, I found them falling on Gaara, the large gourd on his back swaying back and forth as he walked, his red hair blowing in the wind.

"We'll stop here for now." He said suddenly as I nodded and sat down in the sand. It was soft and warm, not as dry here as it looked since it was always blowing around. Gaara sat down beside me and stared off into the expanse around us. I couldn't help but stare at him as he looked around, his eyes and face giving no signs of what he was thinking. In the second I blinked, his eyes moved to the corner of his eye to look at me. "What is it?" He asked as I felt my cheeks heat up. Looking away I shook my head.

"It's nothing."

"You have that longing in your eyes again."

"Do I?" I asked as I tried to pretend I didn't notice.

"What is it you long for now?" He asked as I looked over at him and sighed.

"A hug."

"What?" He asked as he turned to look at me, his face showing a slight expression of confusion.

"You probably see a look of longing in my eyes whenever I'm around you, because I've always had a longing to just…run up and hug you."

"…"

"Ever since we were little…I've always wanted to, but whenever I would try someone would pull me back."

"Why?" Gaara asked in his usual tone as I looked at the desert in front of me.

"I've never feared you. I've never pitied you either. I just wanted to be your friend." Gaara didn't say anything as he turned to look at the expanse in front of us again, and I frowned wondering why I told him in the first place.

"We should continue." He said after a few minutes of silence. Nodding, I got to my feet and followed him. The sand grotto wasn't far away now, and the only reason we stopped was because he wanted to rest in case of attack. It only took five minutes to arrive at the entrance, large cliffs springing up to block the blowing of sand from the sides, some wind from behind occasionally blowing in and causing a small tornado of sand to swirl. Three men stood in the middle of the sand grotto, and as we approached they walked up to us.

"Gaara, Kazekage of the Village Hidden in the Sand." One of the men spoke as Gaara nodded and stared at them. The man held out a paper to us, which Gaara took and began to read, his pale blue eyes drifting up and down as he read it. A strange smirk crossed the face of the man in front of us as the three of them held up their hands. I could sense incoming kunai shortly after as I reached into my pack and threw it backwards. The kunai all hit dead on, failing to hit their target on Gaara's back when they collided with my own. Gaara looked up from his paper, his face angry.

"Gaara, another one!" I yelled as I noticed one coming to the front of him too. It didn't take me long to realize the sand that protected Gaara was moving to slow and the kunai was going to make it through as I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and swinging my body in front of him. He made a confused grunt at my movements, and I felt a shooting pain in my back as something warm trickled down my spine. I wasn't exactly sure what happened next, but knowing Gaara, I knew that the men attacking us must all be dead by now. I knew that I wasn't going to die, but the pain wasn't pleasant now, so I didn't want to move and irritate the wound. My arms were wrapped around Gaara's neck, my head buried in his chest as I tried to control my breathing to a slow pace. Every time I would inhale, the kunai in my back would move, my body pushing it in and out at my intakes of breath. I found it easier to take slow breaths as I inhaled the smell of Gaara, which just happened to me the exact same as the dust of the desert with a slight tinge of something salty. It was a good smell, I thought to myself as I finally got my breathing down to a proper pace.

"I'm going to remove the kunai." Gaara said next to my ear, and I flinched when my body involuntarily shivered at the sound.

"I'm sorry." I said as I clenched my teeth and waited for him to pull out the weapon. He did it quickly, the pain minimal as I unwrapped my arms from his neck and stood up properly, not scared to move now that it was out. "You don't like people touching you, do you?" I added finally as I wiggled my shoulders, causing more blood to leak down my back.

"I'll patch the wound." He said blankly as I sighed and nodded while turning around. I sat down on the sand, small puddles of blood leaking over it as it clumped together. I attempted to lift my shirt over my head, but my arms refused at the sharp pain that shot through me when I tried to move my arms. I felt hands pull it up for me, gently lifting it over my head and putting it to the side. My face was almost as red as my blood was when I realized that Gaara had taken my shirt off and was now wiping something on my back, probably to clean off the blood before patching the wound.

"Thank you…" I stuttered as I played with the sand in front of me, making little mounds before pushing them over and starting again. I couldn't help the heat that bloomed under my skin where his fingertips touched, and my heart was racing as he worked to fix the wound.

"You're breathing fast, is the wound that painful?" Gaara asked in a confused tone as I laughed awkwardly.

"No." I said as I looked over my shoulder to watch his eyes which were locked on my wound. He pulled out some gauze and packed the shallow hole before taping it on and standing up. Pulling my shirt back over my head, I stood up as well, smiling at his blank face.

"Thanks."

"I don't understand." Gaara said after a few seconds of silence, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You're eyes are still filled with longing."

"Are they?"

"It's different this time. It's not familiar at all."

"Well, I did hug you so I guess it's not the same longing."

"…"

"What's wrong Gaara?"

"What are you longing for now?" He asked as I blushed.

"I…can I have another hug…?" I asked quietly, my voice fading off as I spoke. I wasn't sure if he even heard my question at how I had trailed off, but he said nothing, only uncrossed his arms and let them hang by his sides. Sceptically, I took a few steps forward as he continued to stare at me, a strange look on his face as he tried to understand why I longed for this. I had tried many times to figure out why, and I hadn't been able to understand. When I finally took the last step I found myself staring at his collar bone instead of his face, to embarrassed to look up as I lift my arms and wrapped them around his shoulders, linking my fingers together behind him and laying my head down on his chest. It was obvious that Gaara didn't know how to respond to this, his hands at his sides as he looked down at my black hair.

"Why do you long for love, if you can love yourself?" Gaara asked suddenly, his chest rumbling slightly at the action.

"It's much better coming from someone else…" I responded as he was silent again. I just started untangling my hands from behind him when I gasped. His arms had slowly moved to wrap around my torso, being carful not to go near the wound on my back.

"Why does such a simple action feel so…" Gaara asked before trailing off, his forehead leaning down on the top of my head. My body was frozen as I took in what was happening, and I was scared to move so that I didn't startle him. It seemed clear that Gaara didn't know what to do, he wasn't often close to people, and because of his childhood I was sure he didn't know how to interact with other people. "Is this why you long for it? This feeling?"

"Yeah…" I smiled as I moved my head to the side to try and hide my face more in his neck. He inhaled sharply as his arms squeezed tighter around me. "I'm sorry, are you hurt?" I asked suddenly, cursing myself for startling him.

"No." He said as his breathing became less calm and he lift his head up from resting on mine. "Do that again…" He said roughly, his hand moving from my side to the back of my head to push me against his neck. I wasn't exactly sure what I had done that he wanted me to do again, but as he pushed his hand into my head again, my lips were pressed against his skin. "What is this feeling…?" He asked as his throat rumbled against my lips when he spoke. I felt my heart skip a beat at what he could possibly be feeling while I moved to kiss a different spot this time, his breathing increasing slightly again.

"I don't know…" I replied softly as I started to kiss his neck more often, trailing up to his jaw before I stopped, closing my eyes. "Have you felt it before?"

"Not this exact feeling. I don't know how to deal with this feeling." He admitted in a raspy voice as he pushed my head down on his neck again. "I said to keep doing that." He demanded as I shivered, obeying him I continued to kiss different spots on his neck, excitement controlling my movements I snuck my tongue out to lick his neck before biting gently. Gaara's arms tightened around me again as he took a deep breath, and I could feel something hard pressing against me through his clothes as he held me there. A blush creeped into my cheeks and heat pooled between my legs at the feeling of Gaara's length.

"Deal with it however you want to, Gaara. Don't think about how, just act…" I said against his skin. Gaara moved his hands down my back to grab my ass, squeezing slightly while he pulled me towards him to rub my hips against his erection. He let out a small sound as he repeated the action. I let my lips move back to his neck and planted kisses up to his jaw, his hips continuously thrusting lightly against me as he suddenly moved his head to the side, capturing my lips with his as I gasped. Gaara's eyes widened a bit as he seemed to realize that he wasn't sure what to do now. Letting my eyes close I kissed him back slowly, gently licking his bottom lip as he pulled back. His eyes seemed to be foggy, a look that I'd never seen on his face before as he looked down at me.

"…"

"Sorry, I'll let you lead."

"Lead?" He repeated as he seemed to go back to trying to think about what was happening and how to deal with it.

"…Can I show you how to deal with this feeling, and then you can decide from there what to do?" I asked as Gaara's face twisted into confusion before he nodded slowly. Leaning up to press my lips to his gently, he seemed to flinch. Ignoring it, I continued to kiss him slowly, moving my lips against his until he seemed to pick up the movement and match it, his interest in the kiss growing more and more until his arms were wrapped around me again, his eyes closed as our breathing got faster. I put my hand against his chest, making sure to press hard as I moved it down so that he knew where it was at all times before stopping at his belly button. He didn't seem to notice my hand as he lost himself in the kiss, and I took the opportunity to move my hand down and rub his erection through his pants. A loud gasp shot out of him as he stopped the kiss and closed his eyes, stoping his body from moving as I rubbed him again, earning another gasp. His hands grasped at the bottom of my shirt again as he pulled it off frantically, his eyes glazing over my stomach as me bucked his hips into my hand before placing his foot behind my knees and kicking my legs out from under me. Surprise sifted through me as I landed on my ass, but before I could dwell on it more Gaara had dropped his gourd and was on top of me, pressing his lips to my neck. A moan slipped out of me as he nibbled gently at the skin before pushing me onto my back. I had barely noticed the sand around us had gotten hard, not a grain of sand was blowing around us as I lay down on what felt like marble, Gaara moving himself in between my legs. His hands slowly made their way to my skirt, sliding it up so that he could feel my thighs as I let out another moan. I could feel heat blooming in me wherever his fingers touched, my heart racing as he ran his hands up and down my thighs, his eyes looking over me hungrily. Moving my hands to his pants, I tugged at them slightly, only managing to pull them down enough for his member to spring free before he backed off a bit, not letting me within reach of the rest of his abundance of clothing. He moved his hands to call upon the sand to capture my hands as his mouth moved from my neck to my lips. I didn't fight against the restraints as he kissed me roughly, pushing my underwear to the side and placing his head just at my entrance, giving me a quick glance before pushing himself inside me slowly. The lack of preparation and having never done this before made the pain stronger then I thought as I cried out in pain, the haze of lust lifting from Gaara's eyes as he looked down at me with his usual blank look.

"I'm sorry." He said huskily as I shook my head and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"It's fine, I just need a second…" I smiled as he stared at me, and I felt that the more his lust disappeared the more he would over think this and end up ending it. The pain hadn't fully faded away yet as I curled my hips feeling him move inside me as he dropped his head and shuddered, his thought process halted. I moved my hips again. Gaara began pulling out slowly before pushing back in, his actions slow as he revelled in the tight, wet feeling that took over his whole body, leaving him wanting and thinking of nothing but more of this. I failed to hold back the small moans I was making as Gaara barely started to move faster, his thrusts going deeper instead of quicker as his arms tightened around my waist to pull me closer, his breath warm on my neck as he panted. He only let out an occasional quiet moan in between his pants, but I could feel him growing impatient with himself as his breathing increased. Moving my hips with him in a slow, steady rhythm I could feel myself getting impatient as well and I arched my back to him so he could go deeper, digging my nails into the palms of my hand. I regretted not being able to take off his shirt as I stared at the way he moved, his body curling with his thrusts before straightening and then curling again. I longed to see the way his muscles moved during this, the thought driving me wild as I moved to kiss his neck.

"Gaara…faster, please…" I whimpered against his neck between kisses, he hugged me closer as he seemed to consider my request, like it hadn't occurred to him, before he obliged and quickened his pace. It didn't take much of his quick movements after that for my body to tense up, my climax taking over everything in my body. I screamed out, white dots clouding my vision. I could feel my walls convulsing around Gaara's shaft as he groaned, his thrusts becoming more urgent as he slammed deep into me before a moan peeled out of him, his liquid filling me up before he started to slow to a stop. Letting his body collapse on top of me we lay in the sand like that for a while until the sand went from hard as marble to soft mounds again. Gaara pulled out slowly, picking up his gourd before standing up and adjusting his pants. I adjusted my skirt and underwear as I panted, reaching over to pull my shirt on again and clumsily getting to my feet. We were silent for a little while before Gaara spoke.

"Is that the feeling you were longing for?" He asked, slightly out of breath. I thought over his question before shaking my head.

"Only if it's with you." I answered softly, my body still tingling from the sensation.

"Am I the only one who can give you that feeling?"

"No…but you're the only one I want to." Gaara seemed to think over what I said as he looked down at the sand, looking back up with his regular blank stare. His eyes were somewhat softer as he nodded towards the desert.

"We should go now."

"Right." I smiled as we started walking back.


End file.
